The After Birth Party
Oh, you know, I’m just over here obsessing about giving birth as all big pregnant ladies do near THE END. I got into comparing the birth “after party” photos following each of our children’s births and the blatant theme I noticed is knowledge. …or lack thereof.
Chuckle heartily with me, if you will:
BAM.
Insert meme caption: PARENT’D.
Alternative caption: CHOLASMA’D
“HOSPITAL’D” also comes to mind.
I have no idea where newborn Lexington is, probably getting poked by multiple nurses. But that’s first time parenting/birthing for you. Moving on…
HOSPITAL’D, to the rescue. This was my first attempted non-medicated birth. -Ended up with a misplaced epidural, blacking out, almost barfing, an I.V. which sent searing pain down my arm the entire time but the nurses wouldn’t listen to me, being loaded up on other drugs I don’t know what they were, being numb from my neck to my belly button, and not to my birth canal, the OB cutting Emmett’s head repeatedly in attempts to break my water, and partially feeling the whole birth. Serious HOSPITAL’D.
And then…
The triumphant natural birth. But don’t let this photograph fool you, I was a rabid, foaming mess. I couldn’t get comfortable, the OB kept pestering me to do vaginal checks, they wouldn’t let me stay in the bathroom, and the birthing bed transformed into a huge stepladder monster with a really intimidating birthing bar attached and I locked up and lost my mind. But! The job got done. …and I had no voice for the next 24 hours.
And this time?
I changed OBs, changed hospitals, and found a hospital with a Birthing Center attached, and while I have the benefit of an assigned OB (and all hospital tech/medicine) in case of emergency, it’s midwife and nurse/doula run. As it turns out, I’ve been told there are only 3 birthing centers in all the USA which are located within a hospital, which are certified for water births. This hospital is apparently the Mothership.
I walked in for my orientation and the nurses are all talking about Essential oils, diffusers, dim lighting, low intervention, floating in a big ol’ LED lit birthing tub woosah –all dat crazy, hippy dippy baloney and I’m like THESE ARE MY PEOPLE.
And la pièce de résistance:
One more of the bathroom, because you know ladies and their bathrooms:
The plan? Well first, to give birth in one of these rooms. There are only 3 rooms available in the birthing center here. And we get the vibe that there are a lot of lady preggers due the first week of April. So I might end up down the hall in a regular hospital room. With my fortune, that’s probably what will happen. The happy news about that is that the nurses there have inflatable tubs available and will adhere to the birthing center natural birth (and my birth plan’s) standards. But still. I want in this tub.
My question to me is HOW did it take me until the 4th child to find this hospital?! Dunno. Probably because I’m a stubborn mule and don’t listen to people who have probably suggested this place to me in the past.
Oh well. Anyone have hilarious After Birth Party photos they want to share with me? Tag me up on the Gram!
Loved seeing this little time capsule of your births! You look really great after Birth #3 (even with all the crazy). I’ll bet you’ll look even better after birth #4–if anything, that room and the living room thing is AWESOME!
I don’t know which is better, the tub or the crushed ice.
There were no pictures of me taken until the next day, not even pictures with my baby. I don’t feel I missed out. I had Lucia in a birth center and labored for hours in and out of a tub and shower and was so gross. Hoping for a home birth next time and I’m certain there will be no day-of-birth pictures of me then either. It’s just not a sight that needs to be saves for posterity.
I’m pretty sure I’ll fall into your category this time :) I’m happy to hear from you, Mandi!
Those first pictures made me laugh and laugh. But the fourth made me swoon. I want that birth center like nobody’s business, since insurance won’t pay for my home births. But since my last after birth party included a liquor store parking lot, a whole bunch of police and firefighters, and a limo, er, ambulance ride to the hospital, I supposed we’d better just suck it up and pay for the home births from now on.
Can’t wait to read how it goes!
Praying you have a wonderful, amazing birth, Carolyn! You’ll love the tub :) I do probably have a few choice after birth shots but I’m not sure they’re quite internet-appropriate…
Ay yi yi I am right there with you fantasizing about giving birth. In really curious to see how this works out for you. I had considered going to the birthing center for both my second and third but I already have a midwife and I love going to her so much I couldnt do it. Of course, I think the tiny hospital in our college town is accustomed to serving earthy professors wives, so theyre pretty ok with letting you do whatever you want. Ive heard some horror stories from friends so I’m super thankful I’ve had good birth experiences. Heres to us both having a pleasant time next month!
Jealous! Wanted this place with #3 and was told I was too high risk because I wanted a natural vbac. (stupid emergency c-section, still ruining my plans years later.) Now with #5, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll never get this type of experience unless I birth at home and while I’ve considered it, I’ve had too many last minute emergencies in labor to make me comfortable with that idea. I hope you get the sweet tub! The hospital soaking tube was my saving grace with my first!
We would have loved to try a homebirth but because of family history of heart defects, it’s not in the cards for us either. Have to be in a hospital! Congratulations to you, by the way!!!!
What IS this place?! I mean, I wasn’t displeased with my hospital experiences overall (granted, I’m not exactly hippieish, either) but this looks all kinds of amazing.
I think it’s what EVERY maternity ward in America should look like. Make all the mamas as cozy as possible!
Births- they never go quite according to plan, do they? I hope your fourth is everything you want it to be, but failing that, I hope you come out of it with a happy and healthy baby!
Nope, never ever do :) thank you Laura!